'Relative'ly Good

First of all, I have to say my sister and her family are the greatest. They had gone on vacation to Hawaii, and returned to find their house flooded out by a burst pipe (it must run in the family—they must have had sympathy leaks for me). Their house is all gutted up, and last I heard, their dishwasher was in their porch and they had no ceiling or floor downstairs.

However, they left the mess to came up, crossing borders and all, for literally just the night, to hang out with our three-year-old, Lanes, all so we could go to a dance. They were our fairy Godmothers (well, not sure my bro-in-law will be thrilled to be a fairy or a godmother, but he does bear a striking resemblance to my mom's friend Madge). If only they could have waved a wand and got my hair and eyebrows fixed…but we’ll settle for babysitting.

My ten-going-on-fourteen year-old niece did offer to cut off an inch or two of my hair, and in desperation I agreed, but my sister shut down that idea immediately, saying I would greatly regret it. Actually, I think I was in such a flap about the bird's nest that is my hair, that I begged my niece to cut it when my sister refused to do the honors.

This was rich from the person who convinced a fourteen-year-old me it would be fun and fantastic to do my eyebrows. Ever trusting at that age, I let her have a go at it, and I came out of it with one eyebrow one inch higher than the other. I don't even know how what hit me.

I knew it was really bad when her husband (then fiancé) gasped with horror and screeched ‘what have you done?’ when he saw my face. I could have strapped a hedgehog to my forehead and he wouldn't have noticed, but he noticed the eyebrows. That's when I knew I was in trouble. If you look closely, my eyebrows are still not level.

Any old how, after Lanes was left under the care of her extended family, my long suffering spouse, P, and I went on a date, I mean, out to the dance that our really nice friends from Surrey invited us to. We had a fabulous time and met some really nice people.

The band was flown in from Sri Lanka, and the drummer remembered us from seeing us around Colombo. I was delighted when the first thing he said to me was that I’d lost ‘so much weight’. That was the best thing ever. P had to quickly agree or else.

That was the highlight of our week. We were horrified by the news of the earthquake in Japan and until we saw Facebook posts and responses on e-mail from our friends there, we were on pins. Ironically, before the earthquake, we were asked by Lanes’ school to make a comfort/survival pack to be kept in school in case of an earthquake here. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the people affected by the earthquakes/tsunami.

We didn’t put the news on too much since we discovered Lanes takes in a lot more than we realized. We were not sure if it would make her scared or upset. She is nicely settled now, give or take the preschooler meltdowns that come our way every now and again.

Lanes has begun thinking about what she wants to be when she grows up. This week she started out wanting to be a fireman, then a pirate, and finally she excitedly and mischievously announced she wants to be a parrot. We are proud parents, I tell you.

Although our apartment is no longer on Fire Watch, a fireman or two stop by the office from time to time to check on things. As we came back from school one day, one was in the office. Lanes was sad he didn’t come in the fire truck, but she stood outside looking at him in awe. She was thrilled when he gave her a big wave on the way out.

She squealed with delight, much like Betty Boop, and said ‘oh my he is a BIG boy, like Randy, Randy is a big boy, he can be a fireman’. Randy is one of Lanes’ best friends in school, and he is the slight bane of P’s existence. She rather idolizes Randy, and spends a good part of the day gushing about him.

I quickly took the chance to tell her if she wants to be a fireman, she needs to eat her veggies and fruits to become big and strong. Lanes, ever quick to realize when I’m trying to hoodwink her, decided it’s not necessary to eat those things as she doesn’t need to be fireman, she wants to be a French fry eating pirate. 

Not one to be outdone, especially by a 3 year old, I said pirates need veggies and fruits too, so they can row their boats. This is how Lanes came to be a parrot, and I lost yet another war to a preschooler.

Meanwhile, we still have had no luck on the job front. P did get a five day job starting tomorrow for a low pay, but at least after taxes, it should cover our groceries for this week. In a few weeks, it will be six months since we got here, so I’m afraid P is going to aggressively start applying for jobs in Alberta and Ontario.

When I was pregnant with Lanes, I had such bad nausea that I was sick even in my dreams. On my fifth month, I finally had some relief and on the first night I fell asleep, P woke me up saying ‘are you up? We’re moving to Canada’. I was about ready to jump down his throat explaining to him that our insurance did not cover him for bodily injuries sustained to his person from irate pregnant women, but I liked the idea of the move and thus he got off unscathed.

P usually passes out before I do at night and that was the one night we stayed up longer than I did. I really like British Columbia, and so now I’m desperately trying to stay awake and go to bed after him in case he decides to wake me up to announce we’re moving East. Once P is asleep, he is asleep till the next day, unless nature calls of course.

A job is a job, but I feel so settled here. Any old how at this point, I’ll move to the North Pole happily if there is a job there. Being unemployed is no fun. I wish I could write for a living--at least that will be an income: )

As for me, no news yet on when/if my blog will be part of that magazine’s site. I heard yesterday that my much adored rock star is having a baby—not with me. So poof go my dreams of stealing him away from the old folks home in ten-fifteen years (which might result in me getting ten-fifteen). P and my nutty sister have been smirking at me nonstop.

I had a ‘me’ day this week though. I went out to lunch and then window shopping with my cousin’s girlfriend. I had such a nice time, I called and asked P to get Lanes from school and babysit. That’s the perk of being unemployed—always two of us around for Lanes: ) P was so happy that I finally had some company, that he willingly pryed himself away from his ongoing job search.

I did crack open my driver’s manual. It’s sad when opening a book makes you wish there was a DVD form of it. I took the online test several times last week and was all geared up to go take the test tomorrow, but that’s when P’s temp job starts. So we'll do it next week.  No doubt I'll get into some spot of some sort with it...So until next week...