What About Me?

This week I have been doing a lot of thinking about finally getting myself on track. Of course between juggling my three year old, Lanes, and my ever in a flap spouse, P, I rarely have a moment to ponder an original thought—unless conjuring up innovative threats and incentives counts as using that gray matter I have shoved in between my ears.

I spend my days thinking up of countless means to corral my husband and child into cooperating with me—like to come to the table for dinner, it’s bedtime, don’t touch that, etc. I’m a certified time keeper and rule maker. It was thus up to my subconscious to enlighten me as to one aspect of my life as an immigrant that I have been neglecting.

It’s nothing major, really. Just myself! These past six months I have been so concerned with making sure Lanes is happy and likes her school and that P gets a job, any job. Now that P is settled, at least for the next few months (we hope we don’t have to go back to square one without collecting $200) and Lanes has her little buddies in school, for better or worse, it’s apparently ‘me’ time.

I set out to do the things, or rather start doing the things, that I was supposed to have done within these six months. First off, I finally went to take the Learner’s test as the first step towards getting motorized. P had asked me to read the Learner’s Manual and study hard. He got a copy when he thought he would have to take the written test. Naturally, the book was earmarked and highlighted—P is nothing if not diligent.

He was spared taking the written test thanks to his meticulous habit of saving his old documents. He traded in his old US license and before he knew it, he was on the road. I, on the other hand, had a more recent US license, but it did me no good because I kept it away so carefully, even I can’t find it. So as usual, I have to do things the hard way, all the while being serenaded with the sounds of P ‘tsking’ and sighing at my ineptitude.

Feeling slightly guilty about this, and peeved that once again, P was the teacher’s pet in this school of life I’m in, I opened the book and got ready to study. Instead, I yawned, put the book away and decided it would be fun to take the online test and learn while answering the questions. I convinced myself it would be like playing a computer game, and if my Facebook page is anything to go by, anyone knows that playing games is right up my alley.

So it turns out that is not the best strategy for taking the test. Even though I was scoring 100% on the test at home, there apparently a lot more things to know than what the 25 questions the online test ‘teaches’ you. To start with, the real test has 50 questions, and each answer is worded in such a way that you really have to read each option carefully.

There is also no time limit, something I failed to take advantage of. I was so trigger happy, there were several times when I had selected an answer and confirmed it only to realize if I read option D carefully, I had pressed the wrong answer not because I didn’t know it, because I was in such a hurry. I answered 45 questions in 8 minutes.

When I didn’t make it, the last words P said to me were ringing in my ears ‘take your time and read everything carefully. There is no need to rush’. I left the licensing office with my tail between my legs, flanked by a very irate P and a very excited Lanes, who was mistakenly under the impression we were taking her to the mall to go on a merry go round.

The next day, I had to download the manual since I had ferreted away the study guide P had instructed me to learn. I’m sure I left it in some logical place like the freezer or in the septic tank. It was a rather enlightening experience (studying that is), even though I got distracted and took time off to have a long chat with my friend who was calling from literally the other side of the world. Any old how, long story short, second time was the charm.

I now know how far behind a fire truck I need to be (even using the Metric system) and what a flashing green light means.  I even managed to pass the depth perception test, which I was sure I would have issues with—I have been blaming my lack of depth perception for my numerous falls. Turns out I’m just clumsy I guess.

I also finally went for my blood test. Scared straight after not following instructions for my scan, I actually read the fine print and took cautious steps to ensure I did not eat anything for at least 10 hours as instructed. It was more like 15 hours by the time I took the test because I couldn’t go do it until I had Lanes safely secured in school. Taking her to a blood test while I was sugar deprived seemed like a bad idea all round.

I was about to pass out from hunger while I was waiting for my number to be called. It was getting delayed because an elderly lady ahead of me was insisting that taking coffee with her morning pills did not count as breaking her fast and that they should give her tests because she didn’t want to make another trip.

Meanwhile, I was surrounded by people munching on Skittles and sandwiches and sodas (as it was lunchtime by the time I lumbered into the office). It was torture. Each munch seemed exaggerated and I was dreaming about what I would have for brunch. I was so delirious, I started to see everything in blue when my turn finally came.

Instead of taking the blood already they asked me trick questions like if I could spell my name really quickly. Come on. It took me till the second grade to get that right!! Have you seen more consonants shoved in between double vowels? I was also asked something else but at this point it was all a blur. I just remember the nurse was really nice and the process was fairly painless.

This week or at some point, I really need to actually go into the doctor’s office and figure things out since my scan and blood tests results are probably just gathering enough dust to fuel three generations of dust mites by now. I also need to call a driving school because I feel I must drive around with a professional a couple of times before taking the driving test.

Apparently, BC is big on shoulder checks. Miss one shoulder check and you’re out. No driver’s license for you! I have heard that going with a driving school is good because they teach you all these little things you need to do in order to pass. Also, I feel it’s the socially responsible thing to do. And here’s to hoping we can do the test with an automatic car: )

P was spared all that by virtue of his trade in, so he only knows these things in theory—because as usual he researched and memorized what to do to be the optimum Canadian driver. I refuse to drive him anywhere until I have an official license because the only place I’ll be driving him is straight to crazy. He’d probably hold his breath, cling onto the handle bars and refuse to let Lanes ride with me any old how.

So here’s to hoping I get myself in order this week. I’m glad I finally got the two things that have been hanging over my head over with. Now for the follow through. Although I can technically use my temporary driving permit for one year...hmm. So until next time…