Reunions

We have had a fast paced week here in Canada because we had an influx of visitors from the mother land. My long suffering spouse, P’s cousin and her husband were in town to catch the Alaskan cruise, and my maternal aunt and her equally long suffering spouse also came for a visit.

I was so excited about the visits that I could barely sleep. I am rather fond of P’s cousin and her obstetrician husband, because he brought our four year old, Lanes, into this world. By virtue of a c-section all I did was lie on a table, deliriously and obliviously happy on whatever drugs I was on, and he took her out for me. I also gave him a hard time right throughout my pregnancy, having fallen down once every trimester. Equilibrium was not a friend of mine.

Since they were on a tour, we only had them for a couple of hours on Tuesday evening, but we really enjoyed it. It was nice also because I was having a horrendous time earlier in the day. I had what I thought was my last driving lesson. Let’s just say, I was wrong. As usual.

I started off ok, a little queasy, but I ignored it because I always feel like I’ve eaten some bad squid prior to my lessons. About twenty minutes into my two hour lesson I began to feel like some gerbils were trying to get out of my stomach. The AC was also blasting on my hands and I really felt like using the facilities.  By that time I had approached Vancouver and I was in the middle of traffic.

I was wrecking my brains for a good excuse to turn the car around and cut my lesson short, or to take a detour to some place I could run to a restroom, even though I’m mortally afraid of public restrooms. I was desperate and I had tears in my eyes, so I just prayed that I'd survive the lesson. I don't know why I just didn't tell the instructor the truth then and there.

Meanwhile, I was not focused at all on driving. I was accused of speeding and dawdling at lights and I don’t even know what.  The instructor was on some tirade about my head being in the clouds but I just ignored him. I just flicked my wrist at him and told him 'yes  yes just write down fail'. He was a little stunned at my nonchalance.

After about an hour and a half, I told him I had to go to the loo and that’s why I was not driving as if I was trying to pass the road test. At that point, I didn’t give two hoots if two wheels were over a solid white line or if I turned too wide.  I was ready for him to scold me saying I’m making excuses, but by that time, I was a brighter shade of blue so I think he believed me and literally took it at face value.

It was also almost time for me to pick up Lanes from play school so I couldn’t stop anywhere. I dashed out of the car without so much as a goodbye to the instructor and I zoomed into the school, ready to oust any little child on the potty. Luckily, such drastic measures were not necessary. I was much relived, no pun intended.

Sadly, on account of my bad stomach, the instructor is now a little concerned about me and wants me to sign up for round three of driving lessons. Will this ever end? I’m going to be driving around town with this man for eternity. When will I ever ever ever get a license? To make it worse, everyone I have met tells me how many times they have failed the driving exam. It’s a long road for me I think.

Any old how, having our visitors perked me up. On that Thursday, my maternal aunt and her dutiful husband came for a visit. We used to live next to them in Sri Lanka, and Lanes was delighted to see them. I had plotted and planned with the driver of the bus I take in the afternoons to pick up Lanes to play a practical joke on my aunt.  We had got to chatting and it turns out he has a full bag of tricks.

Since he is quite the prankster and I’m a joker, I thought it was a good idea to let him come up with a plan because he has been playing pranks on people way longer than I have. We were heckling when he approached the stop (I got my uncle in on the joke) and the driver was going to ask my aunt to sing a song in order to get on the bus.

Sadly, she put her ticket in and when he tried to speak to her, said she was going to sit down and went off.  The driver and I looked at each other thunderstruck and disappointed that the joke was on us. The only one who found it amusing was my uncle. When we got off the bus, the driver was still stunned when I waved good bye. I told my aunt what we were up to. She rolled her eyes and told me I should not be so friendly with men I didn't know. Sigh. When I told P this story he burst out laughing since he shaking his head at my plans to trick my aunt.

On the weekends we took them out to enjoy the beautiful outdoors.  We even picked up two plants for our balcony, which I have happily named Velma and Daphne a la Scooby Doo.  P is making bets on how long before I forget about them. He thinks I’m all thumbs and none of them are green. I’m diligently and enthusiastically caring for them just to prove him wrong, and also because I know given the weather, I won't have to fuss over them for very long.

I have to sign off since I have one uncle looking for keys to go outside and smoke and one aunt who insists on regaling me with stories while I’m trying to type this. Meanwhile, Lanes walking around with an action figure with red eyes and a missing leg and she is about to sneak up on my aunt. More from Canada next week…