Happy One Year Anniversary to Me!

This is the big moment—one year since we moved to Canada! Twelve months ago, we packed up and shipped anything we thought we would ever need—except the neighborhood pizza delivery boy.  We thought we had thought of everything—looked up apartments, took care of urgent dental work, found potential schools for our little one. We had, or correction, rather, my diligent spouse, P, had done all the research—everything I need to know, I learn from movies and making assumptions. We thought we had everything under control…but what did we know?

It seems like time has flown, yet stood still and that we have come so far, yet sometimes it feels like we walked around a big circle and are back to square one. Looking back…hindsight is always 20/20—but only when you are wearing non-rose colored glasses. I will give you, my loyal readers, the year in review, uncensored and broken down according to the three of us: my long suffering ever efficient spouse, P; my adorable and quirky four year old, Lanes; and of course yours truly, who is ever so charming and conundrum prone.

P, my spouse and reason for being—in Canada:  Luckily for him, he is nothing if not meticulous. He anticipated most of the hardships that immigrants face and budgeted his time, money and sanity accordingly. After we moved, he spent countless hours in front of the computer, going to classes and signing up for mentors at different programs. He was always tweaking his resume, making calls and attending job fairs.

However prepared he was, he never imagined that his extensive experience and American degrees would be no good here. All anyone wanted was Canadian work experience. But one has to start somewhere! It is then that we saw the importance of knowing your neighbor back home’s uncle’s goat herder’s mother’s second cousin, named Gulab Jamun (ok that is the name of a dessert and not a person, but hey I love food), who lives in Canada. We needed Gulab to hire one of us!

Ever optimistic and steadfast in his belief that he will make something of himself, P entered phase II of his plan—approach temp agencies. That’s when he got his first break and crack at work experience. After a few stints here and there, he racked up good recommendations and he finally got a gig for six months. That is up on Halloween of all days and I don’t know where that leaves us. Spooky.

P is hoping to be adopted by this company, as his immediate bosses are really delighted by his efficiency, but they are amidst layoffs and it is up to someone in HR, who knows nothing of P and his contributions, to decide on the matter. Timing is everything and timing is inconvenient.  On the bright side, for what it’s worth (literally) now he has that elusive Canadian work experience.

I asked him what he thinks of our big move, after all, it was his bright idea. I was in full support of it, much as I wanted to fuss at him for causing me to move not once, but twice as a result of this idea—we had to move house in the motherland after he submitted our application to consolidate our things before coming to Canada. He said he was happy. He wished his job situation was less precarious, and that our building was more stable, but what are you going to do in this topsy turvy world? The most important thing is now, he has time for Lanes, even if by default.

Lanes:  She has learnt a lot and matured since she first came here. Sadly, she has forgotten her native tongue. This is rather tiresome because it makes issuing warnings and reprimands harder in public. If she spoke her mother tongue, I could happily yell out things like ‘get that ladybug out of your nose! Don’t put that in your mouth. No, you cannot take a frog home with you. Don’t go near the garbage can or else!’. On the other hand, I can tell P things like ‘Lanes needs to get a vaccine, let’s go to the doctor’ and she is none the wiser and I’m spared a meltdown.

Next year this time, she will be enrolling in kindergarten! My little baby is not so little anymore. Times have changed from my time and we are starting to enroll Lanes in extracurricular activities like her friends. I don’t know what it is preschoolers do these days, sheep shearing or advanced calculus, limbo dancing or what. For our part we signed her up for a music class, an art class and the notorious swimming lessons. I think we are a bit late getting on the ball with all three, but I guess it’s better late than never.

Yours Truly: Well, I must say of all three of us, I have accomplished the least—in my book, no pun intended. I have not worked the entire year, and that is not so good for my self-esteem. I wanted to always be there for Lanes because she went from a lifestyle that included lots of people, to one that involved only her parents.  I applied for some jobs that I could work on while she was in preschool, but never got a call back—again perhaps due to the lack of work experience here.

I keep our apartment, which I call ‘Faulty Towers’, or this crazy a$$ ghetto fabulous joint, quite nicely—I love decorating it and keeping it cozy and clean (mostly due to my mortal fear of germs rather than being a tidy person). Having never cooked a meal in my life, I now have a lovely repertoire and P and Lanes are far from starved.  These are simple things, but I'm not the most domesticated sort, so it's a big thing for me. I’m full of self-satisfaction on that front. So hardy ha ha to all those who thought with hanky to the eye that I couldn’t do it. Nanny nanny boo boo!

On the not so successful front, I still have no driving license. My stormy relationship with my driving instructor has come to a standstill and we are on a trail separation. He refuses to take me to the test in my town, saying it will all be just a waste of money as so many people with far more experience than I have are failed repeatedly there (it’s a costly venture).

I have to wait to take the test in Vancouver, but they won’t be open for testing till January! I am supposed to surf the web after October and get a test date then and call my instructor. The good news is that since I have given up my lessons, my stomach is feeling a whole lot better. And here I was blaming blueberries for my gurgling belly!

With Lanes only away from the house for three hours a day, I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry—the fun stuff, while she is away. Being an only child, bad things happen when I’m otherwise occupied and she is bored. I’m in constant fear that she might amass a small army of reptiles or decide to repaint the walls for attention if I’m tucked away in the kitchen while she is around. She remains annoyed that we won't buy her a little brother or sister from the supermarket. 

I stay up way too late, but then again, I always was more of a nocturnal sort—comes with being bats. When P and Lanes are tucked away safe in bed and my ‘work’ (and I’ve realized being home is a 24 hour job) is done, I enjoy my own company and have some peace. I hope, though, in the next twelve months, after Lanes is in school longer, I will have a regular wage earning job as well. If nothing else, so I get out of the house without the sole purpose of dropping/picking Lanes up or running to the grocery store.

Summation: I think the move was a positive one for us as a family. If we get the job situation squared away, we will all feel a lot more relived. Or rather P & I will.  Lanes is in blissful ignorance on account of being four—in her world, it’s inconvenient when Daddy has to leave the house every morning for work. We have made a few friends, but they are good friends.  

Of course we have encountered characters, most of whom live in our crazy a$$ ghetto fabulous apartment complex.  Just the other day I saw our fan favorite—the dandelion haired Mandarin only speaking lady who loves to rub my belly and sign language that I should take up power walking. She saw me across the road and smiled so fondly and waved and waved, after punching her companion in the stomach when he couldn't see me through the foliage. Even Lanes was like ‘mamma, what’s wrong with that lady?’.

I have no idea why she is drawn to me. I would have bolted, but politely returned the wave because the steady flow of traffic ensured she couldn’t get to me and trap me in an utterly useless one sided conversation. I almost felt bad for running from her. If I ever ran for office, she would be the first to campaign for me. I just know it.

As for the three of us as a family, we have stepped on each other’s toes several times, but along with all that stomping we have really tumbled into each other’s hearts. We all have our dreams though. P would like a steady job. I would like any job. Lanes would like to be Chinese (seriously—that’s a whole other blog).

Of course all of us would like to move to a better place—but that again comes with the job. After one year of pipes bursting, tenants leaping, water cuts and holes in leaky ceilings, we are all hoping to enjoy a place where we might not need to wear a raincoat indoors. Again, on the bright side, it brings much entertainment to others: )

So at the start of our second year, we are hoping that P remains employed—anywhere, that Lanes continues to grow into that sweet little slightly eccentric person that she is, and that I will have some other hats to wear besides the mom and wife hats—none of us want a hat head after all.

It would be nice if I could stumble into a routine of my own. Especially if it is in writing, which is something I enjoy. I wouldn’t say being a mom and wife is completely thankless—I deliver soliloquies daily on my virtues to an eye rolling audience of P and Lanes. I try to give them give or take twenty-five reasons to be glad and grateful I’m in their lives.

Right now, the only thing I have for myself, is this blog, and I want to thank you all for reading it and offering me feedback. It makes my day, and I’m glad that the crazy stuff in my life, brings laughter to yours: ) You know what they say, one person’s misery can be someone else’s joy. I’m not sure who this ‘they’ are, but it makes sense: )So here’s to more Canadoodling in the future! May the adventures continue...