Mutiny on the Bounty

I am a year older and none the wiser or wilder. My bones and internal body parts seem to be under the impression that I have aged a couple of decades instead of a single year. I think several vital organs are trying to secede from my body—there is a mutiny on bountiful sized me. I was already a screw loose so what’s a kidney or gall bladder here or there?

Turns out, however, I am not the only one with a rebellious constitution.  My parents-in-law are here, no doubt charmed and concerned by my systematic breakdown. On Tuesday morning my mother-in-law came out of the room looking really shell shocked. I was hunched in two grumbling that I had to take heartburn medicine so early in the day. Due to lack of sleep, I barely registered the look of distress on her face.

She sank into a chair and announced something terrible has happened. As my heart plummeted to the floor, so did my rear to the closest chair, as I was terrified to find out why she looked so upset. Father-in-law snoring in bedroom--check. Daughter in early morning funk on sofa--check. Husband safely packed off to work--check. I'm still apparently breathing--check. A million and one tragedies raced through my overly dramatic and imaginative head.

Turns out she lost her front tooth. It’s terrible to say I was relieved. I thought it was going to be something much worse. It was 8am and she was quite keen to have it seen to immediately.  I remembered seeing a dental office in the mall, but it wouldn’t open till at least 10am. Then I had a brainwave and realized there was a dentist about a five minutes’ walk from our place, and luckily they were indeed willing to take us in asap!

My four year old, Lanes, an ace eavesdropper, was highly concerned that her grandmother had to go to a dentist. She was unceremoniously dispatched off to school, muttering something about teeth and getting a present after her check up, and before we knew it, one pair of in-laws and yours truly were at the dental office before we could say Jack Robinson, whoever Jack is. 

So turns out the entire thing was quite a production! There was nowhere to sit inside where my mother-in-law was, so I stood there because I knew she was petrified.  I got to witness a root canal, endless injections and drilling. Considering dentists make me feel faint, this was rather gruesome for me. I was glad for my mother-in-law that she couldn't see some of those instruments.

I was hungry as I realized that I hadn’t had breakfast in the mad dash to get the first appointment and I was scared my heartburn would flare up. But I just couldn’t leave her alone with all that stuff going on. It was not a good day for her at all! When I saw how much work went into one tooth, I realized why dental bills are so high in North America. I would not have the patience to be dentist (which is good as I don’t have the stomach or brains for it either). And all that spit like particles? No way I’m way too finicky.

P’s father was patiently waiting in the lobby, and in between I would go and give him updates. An hour and a half or hour forty-five minutes later we were done.  The only good thing that came out of it was that my mother-in-law got a lovely new tooth, we found a really kind and affable dentist (more importantly a clean one, as I am so fussy I was watching everything he was touching for future reference).

The dentist was so nice he even called later in the evening to see if P’s mom was in pain and he was surprised to find out she was off gallivanting at the Museum of Anthropology at 7pm instead of resting!  When we went back in on Friday for the final fitting, he was most amused.

Meanwhile our crazy a$$ ghetto-fabulous joint of an apartment has resumed its’ daily dramas. On Thursday night, I was up as usual with a heat pack on my back and everyone was fast asleep. At close to midnight I notice all these flashing red lights and I look out the window to find about five cop cars outside. There were policemen going up and down right outside our building, like ants in a single file line.

I strained my ears to hear what they were saying, but could not make out the words. I was camped out in the living room as my diligent spouse was sharing Lanes’ bed and his parents were on ours (we can accommodate 2 people at a time in our apartment). I knew I could get a better view from the main bedroom, especially since P’s mom likes to sleep with the blinds a little open.

I debated what to do, because I was bored and dying of curiosity but I was scared if I check out the window in the bedroom and my in-laws wake up they might freak out to find someone in their bedroom.  In the end, my nosiness prevailed because I could hear them snoring and sleeping soundly, which is as miracle since the flashing red lights were illuminating the room.

Sadly, I couldn’t make anything out. Everyone slept through the entire drama, which went on for about three hours.  The next day I tried to ask some folks in the building if they knew what happened ,but no one was aware. My mother-in-law was highly disappointed and insisted I must figure it out.  Today I asked a source and he said someone was being disorderly. He didn’t want to comment too much because he is friends with that person’s sister.

I don’t know why so many cops were needed for that. I guess for the moment I will never know. I might have to go with leftover birthday cake to the office and see if they will tell me anything. The things I have to do so that I can make an informed report on my blog: )

All this drama was the night before my birthday and so at midnight, I was snooping, and snooping badly at that.  The rest of the day was washed out with rain and after we went for the grand installation of my mother-in-law’s tooth, I took P's parents and Lanes (who had a holiday on that day of all days) to the mall. It rained all day and Lanes fell asleep in the bus on the way back and I had to lug her up to our apartment. That was very bad news for my back.

After P came home from his temp job we went out to dinner, but my back was really hurting and Lanes was tired, so I was not my usual self and was rather thankful to come home and curl up in my PJs. Not exactly the celebration I was going for. I was lamenting that if I wasn’t feeling so crappy the last two weeks, I could have invited all the friends we made in Canada over for dinner.

The next day, however, we went over to the house of one first folks we met in Canada (two couples—one introduced us to the other), and they surprised me with my favorite chocolate cake and a sing song. While I was there, I got the back pain, but I refused to let it spoil my fun. I was glad the pain didn't creep up before we left the house--I would have missed out on a lot of fun. 

That has been our crazy week. P’s parents went off at 4am, his mother rather disappointed  that I never figured out the mystery as to why there were cops swarming the place. Ironically, I found out soon after she left. Lanes woke up really sad because her grandparents left. She particularly enjoyed manhandling and bossing around her extremely patient grandfather.

At any given time he could be found doing pumpkin themed arts and crafts or donning various ‘monster’ faces in Lanes’ constant Halloween themed games. Several times he was sitting with her while his food was getting cold on the table as he was unable (and I suspect unwilling) to extract himself from the madness that is Lanes.

He didn’t even try to fight it, just laughed and said ‘wonderful, wonderful’. He took the phrase ‘grin and bear it’ literally.  Between my nausea, heartburn and back pain, I just couldn’t always seperate the two.  Lanes is very sad because she said now she has no one to play with. Again, I fall into the chopped liver category.

I must run as there is much to be done. I just realized that I have no recollection of taking my pain medication and as I can’t overdose myself, I’ll have to go without and pay for it later. There is laundry to be done and dinner to be made, so off I go. More adventures from Canada next week…