For Sonali

The palpitations have begun. My four year old, Lanes, got an invitation for kindergarten orientation. She is growing up and I want to keep her to myself--at least until she has a meltdown or serenades me with nonstop requests for babysitting her favorite stuffed toy--Max the bunny.

She is very fond of her preschool classmates and teacher (as am I) and none of the kids are going to the same school as Lanes. I think that is part of the reason why I'm anxious. Guess who will be lurking around the parking lot with rhododendrons on her head as camouflage?  I'll jump out to the rescue if there is any mayhem in the sandbox.

Meanwhile, we realized that there is a course kids can take called Kindergarten Prep or something to that effect. Seriously? Is she going to med school or is she going to a place where she can do fun things like glue beans onto paper?

Being four/five is tough these days. By the time Lanes has kids, the average two year old will be doing calculus. Any old how, were late in the day to figure out about this class so Lanes will have to go without the prep work because all the classes are full. I know she is doing some of it in preschool. I'll have to figure out the rest! Good luck to all of us.

Kindergarten doesn't only mean growing up time for Lanes, but for me as well. I now have to leave the ranks of the unemployed.  I'll have to do fun things like update my resume. Somehow I don't think key phrases like ''lassoing child and spouse'' and ''drill sergeant to recalcitrant family'' will fly. This is the down side of being a stay at home mom. I'd say it's thankless, but Lanes thanks me for something everyday.  No wonder I'm feeling sad kindergarten is full time.

The other problem I have is that when I finally do have a job interview, do I say "I'm not working during Spring, Summer, and Winter breaks and sick days''? That'll go over well. I have no idea what to do with Lanes on those days. I wish I lived closer to my nutty sister! She is always waiting to grab Lanes.

I am also unsure what types of jobs I would want to do. Now I've come to a point where I really want to enjoy what I am doing, but I've been out of the game so long that I don't know what ''it'' is!  These are the ideas that have come my way so far:

1.) Doggy daycare/Humane Society: I love animals. I think they are cute and kind and I've been known to accidentally rescue a pit bull when I was in college--much to the horror of my roommate. She unwittingly got embroiled in my plot to hide him in our room until I could reunite him with his owners. 

It was a long night that involved cop cars and animal shelters (I can hear my mother gasping as she reads this). But on the bright side, I got to play with the sirens in the cop car. My roommate, who was stuck in the backseat with a jumpy pit bull, was not amused. But we are still BFFs so there you go.

The down side is that, as my pragmatic spouse, P, points out, I'll try to bring various animals to our ghetto fabulous apartment that barely fits the three of us and that every time an animal dies, I'll be weeping so ferociously that strangers would think I'm auditioning for a role in a soap opera on Telemundo. So that's out, because on  those counts, he is right.

Also I can hear my mom saying ''are you crazy? If an animal gets scared and bites you, you will need rabies shots. Do you know how painful it is? You must be nuts!". I swear, I can hear those words as I type this.

2.) Counselor: Everywhere I go, someone winds up telling me their troubles, and no matter what I'm doing, I willingly listen. My sister and my parents always thought that I would be really good at that because although I sure can't take it, I can dish out good advice. This would entail taking some classes, which can even be done online. 

While my sister was enthusiastic about this career choice for me, P thinks that I'm going to make other people's troubles my own since I'm ''too soft and kind''. Hmfph. Again, he thinks there is a danger that he will come home from work and find random people have moved in with us (I doubt it--I'm not a people person--oops so much for this career).

3.) Work with the elderly: I love old folks. I greatly enjoy their company, and for some reason, the feelings are mutual. Without even hearing P say it, I know the cons of this job. Every time someone passes away, I'll be upset, but I'm strongly considering sucking it up because  I'm sure the happy days will outweigh the sad.

4.) Food/Restaurant critic: I love eating and I love writing. Sadly, I couldn't tell you what's in a bechamal sauce nor do I care if my carrots are cut in the perfect julienne. I can also spot the slightest spot of dirt on the inside of a fork. This would be a dream job for me, but it would remain just that, a dream. But gosh, getting paid to eat? Is that fabulous or what?

Meanwhile, I have to sign off because I just realized I was supposed to RSVP to Lane's kindergarten orientation. I really wish I wasn't so chaotic. More musings from BC next week...