All Uphill & Whee All the Way Down

This has been a really active week for us here in Canada!! As much as I love our scenic neighborhood, being surrounded by mountains and trees and loping knolls, walking up and down hills has proven to be a challenge. All this while, my three-year old Lanes had a ride to school and back, but alas due to a knee operation, the lady who zips her up and down the hill is no longer available. Enter conundrum #147 in the life and times of Me.

So I thought since it is summer and all, it would be good exercise for me to trudge Lanes up the hill since my diligent spouse, P, and I couldn’t find a bus route to take us up there. Well, I just looked it up on google—that’s my solution to everything—I treat it like a crystal ball. The smart thing to do would be to have looked it up on whatever the mass transit page is or better yet, call it in, but that is way too practical for my style. It’s the hard way or the highway! I laugh in the face of common sense!

On day one I put Lanes on her rickety stroller which might or might not hold her for much longer and tried to hoist her up the hill. Oh my goodness. It was the one day the sun was blaring down on us and I think on the way, like a junker car, I was losing parts all the way up the hill. I dropped a lung at the first crossroad, then an artery at another. Sadly, I wasn't shedding anything I wanted to, like my hips or belly.

I wanted become trim and slim by walking uphill, but I don’t think losing weight by shedding vital organs counts. I also don't being deprived of oxygen is good either since I need to conserve what brain cells I have (for when conundrum #148 comes up).  I was gasping for breath and I was further chastised when two retirement aged ladies over took me, breezily chatting about their hairdos and petunias.  I was so out of breath that Lanes voluntarily got off the stroller and walked a little to give me a break!

Coming back down was not such a nightmare, but the thought of doing it all over again when it was time to pick her up left me feeling nauseous and I was close to hitch-hiking since I was alone and not with Lanes. The only thing that kept me from doing so was that my neighbor with the big dog kept me company on part of the way up, thereby providing a distraction and entertainment for me. That and I could hear my mom, sister and aunt’s screaming voices in my head, all yelling ‘are you crazy?’

The next day, also P’s 40^th birthday, yippee, I kept Lanes at home. I would rather entertain a very bored energetic three-year old than climb a hill. It was a sad state of affairs. That night to celebrate, we went out for Greek food and P said he thought he found a bus route for me. It involved going all the way on the back of the hill and then taking a short trail down to the school.

I was rather relieved and obediently went down trail number one. P promised to come fetch me after doing a loop because he had nowhere to stop. The only thing I discovered was some man running up and down the steps doing a very bad Rocky impersonation, complete with grey sweatpants and all.  I wound up in a neighborhood I didn’t recognize and there were so many steps, I unwittingly wound up doing a poor Rocky impersonation myself, but I just looked silly and out of place huffing and puffing in my summer dress.

Eventually, we found the right trail, which was literally a hop, skip and a jump away from the school and all was well. I pretend that walking down the hill is a fabulous work out and so now Lanes is back on her proper school schedule.

At the end of the week, two of my friends from graduate school in DC came over for a visit.  I was super excited, and I think Lanes, who is more or less like an appendage to me, soaked up my enthusiasm too. It was nice to have old friends, who knew me before I was a wife and mom, and loved me despite my crazy come to visit. As Lanes calls her friends, they are ‘my people’. I shall call them Uncle C and Aunty S for purposes of this blog.

We had dinner at our place on Thursday (with no visits from the Fire Department on that day)  and Friday we went to the Vancouver Aquarium where we were dazzled by dolphin shows, a Beluga whale show, a birds of prey show (special for the summer) and all kinds of fun stuff.  FYI, kids three and under are free, but seeing as Lanes is about the size of half a camel, I brought along a copy of her ID. Poor child.

Any old how, the birds of prey show was funny because there was a crow that kept flying out and trying to mess with the fearsome birds. When he flew at the Bald Eagle, the eagle actually swiveled his head and gave him a ‘are you kidding me?’ look. I guess the crow must be doing it all the time since he had a feather missing on his wing. He is either suicidal, has a small bird complex, or is protecting a nest.  Whatever the reason, I hope it ends well for him, or else he is going to have a long summer.

At the Beluga whale show, one of the folks there let Lanes hold a toy Beluga and took it back. She obediently gave it back, but immediately proceeded to beg for one. Aunty S was sure that it was all a plan to get kids to force their parents to stop over at the gift shop.  Never underestimate the power of incessant whining.

Uncle C, deciding it was unfair to give a child a stuffed animal and take it back,  dashed off and got her one and she was rather delighted. She thought he was the bees knees before, but after that I think she was completely smitten. The three days they were here it was amazingly easy to get Lanes to cooperate with anything—all I had to say was that we were going out with Aunty S and Uncle C. 

The next day we went to the Museum of Anthropology. P loves museums and he was more than ecstatic when they announced that there was a tour of the premises. He was in diligent nerd heaven. If only we had a notebook and highlighter for him.  Better yet, a tape recorder or mobile stenographer. Aunty S and he went on the tour and Uncle C, Lanes and I loitered around. We thought Lanes would be handful in a museum, but she seemed to really enjoy the totem poles on display.

It was a lovely large open space and so she enjoyed playing with Uncle C. The walls of the museum were made of glass and it overlooked a lake. All of a sudden a coyote came out of the shrubs (foliage?) and into the water. It was really amazing and made my day.  After the museum, we had to go our separate ways as my friends headed back to the US and we had to find some place to have Lanes’ fourth birthday party.

One of the venues we were thinking of was a miniature train station in Confederation Park, but  they were booked all through July. I must say they were really nice and gave us a call on a Sunday afternoon, no less after P left a message again about free dates.  I would highly recommend stopping by here for anyone visiting Burnaby. Adults can go on the trains with the kids and let me tell you, I don’t know if Lanes or I had more fun on our train ride! I was living my second childhood right there with Lanes: )

So now it’s back to the grind, searching for party venues, apartments, common sense and lost marbles. More musings from Burnaby next week…