Sleepy Days

I am sorry I am a day late and a penny short for this week’s blog episode.  My three year old Lanes was on holiday and that means I’m on super busy mom mode--I am surprised my long suffering spouse, P, didn't walk in to find me toilet papered on a chair. I was so drained, I planned to get online after she fell asleep, but I beat her to it. I was snoring long before she even started to count sheep, and I didn’t even budge when she was poking my eyeballs with her index finger in a fruitless attempt to wake me up.

This week, Lanes had a fieldtrip to Barnet Beach Marine Park.  Who do we bump into on the way there? The dandelion haired Mandarin only speaking lady from my building! She was hiking up the hill where Lanes’ school is, and while my face bared the same expression as a skunk being chased by Pepe Le Pew when I saw her, she beamed with delight and stopped short of hugging me. She must have really missed me!

She appeared with a very well dressed man in tow, who no doubt must have been hoisted up the hill before he knew what happened. She immediately began patting Lanes’ head and started her rapid fire Mandarin at me. I just nodded, I had no idea what I was agreeing to. For all I know, I might have agreed to climb the rest of the hill with her or that I’d loan her a kidney or something.  I was just glad she wasn’t dragging me to the laundry room again.

Luckily, one of the grandpas who was coming on the trip was there and then she tried her Mandarin on him. I think he told her he had no idea who I was and that we were all there to go on a school trip. I saw her gesturing towards the van and I was hoping she wouldn’t jump in. Last thing I needed was to have a one sided conversation with her for the rest of the day. She seems nice and all but between the manhandling, and getting me to do laundry and accost postal workers with her by force, I really don’t see us being friends.

For a fleeting second I debated not going, since it was not mandatory, but seeing as how Lanes and her BFF ‘Evy Anne’ are right royal hooligans when they are together, and we are not water friendly folks I thought it best that I accompany her. Let's just say they are 'independent thinkers'.

I was right to because Evy Anne, also known as ‘Captain Evy Anne’ by Lanes the ‘pirate’, was trying to convince Lanes to walk into the water by herself. My eyes nearly popped out of my head and I was about to transform into a big Mamma Bear (no wonder they warned of bear sightings) . Luckily, Lanes looked at Evy Anne like she was nuts and asked her why she would want her to do that. I’m glad the girl has sense.

The kids enjoyed catching little crabs and collecting them in plastic cups. Well, Lanes got some little boys to do the dirty work for her. The poor little critters must have been terrified. Not to worry, they let them go soon enough, although one kid wanted to take them home and make soup! I was more tired than Lanes, after having spent the day with preschoolers. We did get to see an otter, seagulls, cranes and Canadian geese, so that was fun. Oh and there was a Sea Monster, aka Lanes, on the shore as well.

I had my weekly driving lesson. My narcoleptic drill sergeant of a driving instructor fell asleep again. We had to take a detour since the cops had cordoned off part of the road we were on and he popped off while we were stuck in traffic and I was in the middle of a rant about it. I guess the rhythm of my swearing would have lulled him into a slumber.

When I was trying to turn it was really congested. I thought about not waking him, but then again thought since there was so much traffic, it’s best to give the instructor a jolt. I shouted ‘cops!’ and that got his attention and he didn’t fall asleep again. Mission accomplished.

I did not count how many times he said ‘Fail!’ on this lesson. I just feel like I have one up on him now that he has fallen asleep twice.  I also felt better because I caught as show on TV called “Canada’s Worst Drivers” and it made me feel a whole lot better about myself.

If I don’t improve (meaning the instructor shouts ‘Fail’ less than fifteen times per lesson), I can always audition for that show. And there were folks older than me doing far worse.  So there is hope. I knew I was meant for some reality show somewhere.

We spent the weekend with friends and we were on a mission to get Lanes to sleep in her own room.  P got her a bed and we tried to entice her with fun bedding.  We were showing her cute ones with cupcakes and candy and princesses (the latter of which I am not too fond of), but our Lanes kept chiming in ‘Spider Man’. 

P, hearing not believing her, kept batting on, showing her Dora and Hello Kitty and what not, but she looked at him like ‘listen to me!’.  So we came home with Spider Man pillowcases. We will have to finish the set next week. I can’t tell you how delighted she is with it. The bad thing is that she sits up admiring the pillow case instead of sleeping.

P seems rather confused by the entire thing and seems determined to get her the cupcake  sheets.  Even with toys she prefers monsters and cars, and from time to time she likes to be a cowboy or a ‘scaredy’ monster. I say good for her. Too much pink gives me a headache, so it works for me. I’m sure by the time she goes to kindergarten we’ll be drowning in nothing but Barbie, so I’m going with the flow.

This week I have more dreaded driving lessons and we have to find a place to have Lanes’ birthday party in a couple of weeks. Apartment hunting is on hold as Lanes birthday is taking priority. Having not been to a kids party yet in Canada, we have no idea what to do or what folks expect here. I guess we will learn soon enough!! Until next time…