After our holiday fiasco, I was rather glad to be back in our crazy ghetto fabulous apartment, but my throat was sore and I noticed little bumps on my hands and feet. Something didn't feel right. Turns out, I had a souvenir from my trip--hand, foot and mouth disease!
That's not to be confused with hoof and mouth, which farm animals get. However, I am stubborn as an ox and often make a donkey of myself. Considering, hand foot and mouth generally only effects children, it's a true talent that I caught it--for the second time in my life!
After being holed away in my room until I was no longer contagious to children, I did not so much emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon. I then proceeded to get hives, and on hot days, they were particularly vicious.
I was in a huff and a puff (literally) and whining about possibly having the plague. The more I freaked out about it, the more ferociously it spread. I looked like I stuck my arms in a jellyfish aquarium (which I am perfectly capable of doing).
This led to a series of visits to my family doctor, and between the two of us, we couldn't figure out what I was allergic to. I stopped responding to medication, and due to the nature of my discomfort, he ordered a very strong antihistamine for me to take twice daily.
In fact, if I bumped my head and forgot who I was and suddenly decided to go camping, something I wouldn't be caught dead doing normally, I could use those pills as a tranquilizer dart should I come across any bears, hippos or woolly mammoths.
Out of desperation, I took a dose only to find no respite. I took my second dose and boy, I was out like a light. I woke up briefly at noon, had lunch and planned to make a birthday cake for my diligent spouse, P.
At 3.30pm I found myself still on the couch in my PJs. I snapped out of it in enough time to bake the cake, but then a few hours later, it was lights out again. This went on for the next day as well, and considering I was making a birthday dinner for P, I had to put alarms on to remember to put the stove off.
Meanwhile, after I stopped acting like I was auditioning for the lead role in the neighborhood production of Sleeping Beauty, poor Lanes was taken to an allergist to see why we are sporting around EpiPens with us where ever we go.
She was not thrilled to have several pin pricks on her back and so in an attempt to ignore the issue, she sat on P’s lap and squeezed her arms around his neck.
The net result was that P turned a brighter shade of blue, and we are still none the wiser as to what triggered the major allergy attack Lanes had a few months ago. Lanes made out like a bandit, delighted that she got to eat some shrimp (as part of the allergy test) and she got a trip to the Disney store (the bribe).
She wants a princess themed birthday party for herself, but her guest list is mostly boys. This should be interesting. I’ll just put a tiara on a dragon and call it a day.
I eventually had a bout of rash free days and I decided to really get back into the job hunt. I announced my arrival to my temp agency and they called me at the end of the day on Friday to say they scheduled an interview for me on Monday at 10:30am.
The weekend plans were hectic between homeopathy appointments and Lanes’ social schedule and on Sunday I looked on jealously and she pranced off with her father for a day of fun in the sun. I languished at home doing prep work for the interview.
On Monday, it took me about an hour to tame my hair and groom myself. I donned my interview suit, switched my cell phone off, and arrived bright and early to my appointment. My instructions were to call the manager in charge from the security desk.
Well, no one answered. Another lady from my temp agency befriended me in the lobby and she said she was waiting for a small eternity for the person interviewing her to show up.
I then wondered if everyone in that company had no sense of time, or if it was some sort of weird test to see what we would do. Twenty minutes later, I turned my phone on to call my temp agency.
Turns out the person performing the interview called my agency at 10 to cancel my 10.30am meeting because she ran out of funding. Seriously? Even if I lived next door, by 10am I would have left the house just to be professionally on time.
Where was the funding when she desperately needed someone at 4:54pm on Friday? Where was the funding when my Sunday was rendered utterly boring? Where was the funding when I was threatening my hair and spraying it till the cows came home?
I was livid. I was dressed up, prepared, and by that time my bus ticket expired. This meant I had to fish out another one. As usual, all dressed up with nowhere to go. I felt like a mashup between Cinderella and Cruella de Ville.
Meanwhile, the other girl from the temp agency had her interview, three feet away from me and she was fluttering around trying to cheer me on. I half felt like joining her interview!
Any old how, at least I made a friend (always look on the bright side). However, as the day went on, I got more and more annoyed. The next day, I went into Vancouver and signed up with two more temp agencies!
I got home exhausted and at 5pm my temp agency called and announced I had an interview at 2pm the next day. I was so tired, I just went to bed. That interview brought me flashbacks of my other job where I took two buses and a train to the middle of cornfields. Where's Toto when you need him?
Although the commute was not as long as with the previous job, again this place had no proper ‘civilization’ (by that I mean food options) close by. Always with my priorities straight, after I hiked up to the office, I asked the security guard if this joint had a cafeteria!
If it only had a vending machine that sold stale potato chips, I was going to run down the road screaming. Although taken aback, it didn’t faze him much because when I left he said he really hopes I get the job. My nutty sister thinks that he said that because having me around would be pure entertainment value for him.
I thought it was because I was a people person. Any old how, I was not sure I did want that job though. It wasn't 'the one'. I’m pretty fussy for someone with not much options.
Darn it, I’m going to be employed by August if it’s the last thing I do, plague or no plague! Any old how, that tom foolery aside, I now have to go shake and bake. Got to go make a princess cake for my little boo who is turning six years old this weekend! Aw little Lanes is getting big!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More musings from BC next week…
Five years ago on July 16, I lost my beloved black Labrador and loving companion, Muttley. Please do something kind for an animal in memory of him. Thank you.
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