Sore Green Thumbs Up

If there was an organization like PETA that defended the welfare of foliage, I would have had paint and flour thrown on me almost every time I stepped out of my ghetto fabulous apartment. Even with the greatest care, I manage to dispatch all potted plants that come to our place to greener pastures (no pun intended).

Back in the day, my alleged nature loving spouse, P, thought it would be lovely to have some flowers on our balcony. Inspired by our daughter, Lanes', favorite cartoon, we got enough potted plants to name after the entire Scooby Doo gang.

I seemed to suffer from selective amnesia when it came to watering them. I would always remember at 3am, when I'm just about fast asleep and then despite all good intentions, I never made it out of bed to tend to them. First Daphne fell, and then it was a free for all, with Shaggy holding on to the end.

After successfully obliterating the entire gang, I was full of remorse and promised never to bring home anything with roots.  Of course, a few months later, while looking at the empty pots discarded on the balcony like shells on the beach, I decided we could use some green.

I happily brought home an aloe plant from the supermarket.  P held his head and smirked.  It lasted awhile but then it suddenly began to droop, possibly from over watering. I heard that Sprite perks up flowers in a vase, so I figured it would do wonders in this case.  Of course, the next day I found the leaves on the floor. 

Poor Lanes was accused of playing ball in the house and tipping it over because she was found with her mouth open in horror at the scene of the crime. It turns out, I was the real culprit, so that was the end of my quest to go green. But fate had other plans.

Last winter, Lanes was invited to a birthday party at a greenhouse.  Part of the activity was that the kids get to paint a pot, play with some dirt, rub their hands off on their parents' shirts, and then pot a plant.  I explained my serial killing tendencies to the person at the garden store and pleaded with her to give Lanes the hardiest of plants.

We came home with a self sufficient Christmas cactus with a strong will to live. I thought it best to leave it at that, because it's summer now and it appears to have survived.

So what did P do last week? He came home with a plant! I was not amused because it definitely looked like it was high maintenance, being all leafy and already slightly limp in some areas. After a lot of dramatic exclamations about extra responsibilities, I settled it next to the cactus.  

I was fretting because Lanes was due to go to another birthday party at the greenhouse and she was sure to bring a summer time plant home. P agreed that it would be rather tragic if she did, but two days later, he comes home with a sheepish grin and produces two more frail looking plants. Oie ve.

On a happier, very unrelated note, our little Lanes turned six years old! How did she get so big? She still feels like a tiny little prawn when I hug her. Always one to come up with daunting requests, she asked me to make her a princess cake.

Hmm. Again, since I have only been cooking for three years and baking for far less, I smiled at Lanes while blindly agreeing. On the inside, I was freaking out and panic and ideas were swarming my head like turkeys let loose on a field.

In between all this, I was on standby for interviews. The temp agency has a tendency to call me at 4:58pm to announce interviews for the following day.  I was on pins that I would get called in for one the Friday before the party, when I planned to bake the cakes from scratch.

Luckily (?) no one called, so I was free to shake and bake. I had the bright idea to bake two levels: the bottom one was to be the ocean with Ariel on it and the top one to be the hill with the castle and whatever other princesses on it. After that I was left to go crazy with food coloring for the icing, having too much fun adding seaweed and starfish to the bottom of the cake.

I then pilfered Lanes’ room and commandeered any princess related toys to use as decorations.  The net result can be seen below. Luckily, she is still small enough to think even the gaudiest of things is beautiful, so all was well.

As a back up, my adorable niece fervently and I must say very lovingly baked and iced two dozen cupcakes. She also was given instructions by Lanes to come to her party dressed up as a fairy Godmother.

Meanwhile, my nutty sister was fluttering about announcing that she found a fabulous yet reasonable apartment for us to move into. Turns out, she was trying to check us into a retirement home! Luckily, this conversation happened mostly between her and P and I was spared a hysterical moment.

In the meantime, I finally am taking a scan of my cranky liver and gall bladder next month. In between all that, I'm still randomly breaking out in hives and I have to prepare for the job hunt. Oh and I also have to sign off to water those pesky plants. In an ironic turn of events, I have grown fond of them and am secretly harboring ideas of adopting more. Quelle horreur! More musings from BC next week...

Here is Lanes' birthday cake made by me:)